Dogwarts

This article is satirical and should be viewed as such. It's contents should not be taken as fact.

Dogwarts
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Dogwarts NSFW is a hypothetical proposed by Dan. In this scenario, you have a portal in your room in your house which holds a dog. The gender, breed, and size of this dog is up to the listener. The dog is also magic; each time you have intercourse with the dog, you are given a certain amount of money. You can do this as many times as you want. The dog is willing and consenting. No one will know. The question is presented as follows: What is the minimum amount of money that you would accept to have intercourse with the dog under these conditions?

While the hypothetical is typically presented with a similar ruleset, occasionally the rules will vary. Variations on the rules typically consist of:

1. Frequency of the intercourse. The question is typically presented that you may have sex with the dog as frequently or infrequently as you might want to. In some variations, Dan will mandate that you have to have sex with the dog at minimum daily, with additional sessions if desired.
2. Dark Dogwarts. An alternate version of the hypothetical posits that the dog would not be consenting and asks what the minimum dollar amount would change to.

Etymology

An artistic depiction of Dogwarts.

Dogwarts is a blend word of "Dog" and the school of Hogwarts from the fantasy novel series Harry Potter. The reference to Hogwarts is used to exemplify the mystic and whimsical nature of the hypothetical, as well as a reference to the portal leading to Platform Nine and Three-Quarters in the Harry Potter series—of which a similar one would lead to an area in your house or apartment that only you could access.

Answers

This list is incomplete, you can help by expanding it.

The question was prompted to multiple Orbiters with the given answers:

Proposed To	Monetary Amount	Comment(s)
Aella	$2400/hr · $10,000	States that is her escorting rate and that she doesn't think it would be "psychologically different" than escorting.
Dantes	$16.50
Destiny	$1000 · $100
Lycan	$5,000	Said he would not fuck the Dog in the event Dark Dogwarts was the ruleset for the hypothetical.
DariusIRL	$10,000	Stated he would prefer if the breed was a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel. Said he would go as low as $10,000 because of debt, and further clarified he would do it multiple times a day if his financial situation worsened.
MrMouton	$20,000
notsoErudite	>$690,000	Stated it needed to be high enough to pay for the therapy and have a good life afterward, and enough to only do it once.
MrGirl	Did not specify a price.	Said he would have sex with the dog ten times a day. Specified that he would prefer a Husky.
Wesbtw	$4 · $17,000/mo	"I'm not that opposed to fucking a dog." "If you give me a warm wet pussy golden retriever ... and it is backing it the fuck up, I'm beating that pussy up, baby, Inshallah."
Alex O'Connor	$4,600,529 decreasing on a logarithmic scale
Rem	Refused to answer.
Dan	Stated that he would not fuck a dog because "[he's] not a degenerate..." and wouldn't for a trillion dollars.
LilyPichu	Stated Dogwarts was weird and ended the call with Destiny.

Trivia

The concept of Dogwarts was first called Barklight by Dan, as he speculated a smaller dog would be "small and tight" akin to a fleshlight.